Originally published in Advanced Reporting Times.
Deeyah Khan is a multi-award-winning filmmaker who has documented a range of sensitive topics, from abortion rights and racism to domestic terrorism and Islamic extremism, yet she says she was never afraid until she became face-to-face with perpetrators of domestic violence for her latest documentary, “Behind the Rage: America’s Domestic Violence.”
“This is a different category of person,” Khan said, referring to being so close in proximity to these perpetrators, most of whom target the women they claim to love. “For the first time, I was scared.”
A screening of Khan’s 2022 film, “Behind the Rage: America’s Domestic Violence,” was presented at the Norwegian Embassy in February. The screening was followed by a conversation between Khan and Melanne Verveer, the executive director of the Georgetown Institute for Women, Peace and Security.
The documentary includes personal interviews with victims’ families, survivors and psychologists, but mostly focuses on the perpetrators themselves. Many of the perpetrators in the film are engaged in rehabilitative efforts or intervention programs in an attempt to end their violent behavior.
Khan explores whether there is a way for these men to reduce their extreme levels of violence – and how these efforts by the perpetrators might reduce national rates of domestic violence. The documentary exposes the raw details and experiences of those who have experienced and committed domestic violence, offering a nuanced perspective on this critical issue.
According to the National Coalition Against Domestic violence, one in four women experience intimate partner violence in the United States and, though women are sometimes perpetrators, men are significantly more likely to commit these acts of violence. In extreme cases, domestic violence turns lethal. Indeed, half of all female homicide victims are killed by a current or former intimate partner, states a 2019 study by the CDC.
“It was good to see that it’s possible to shift that behavior, for some of them,” Khan recalled in an interview. She noted, however, that, in most cases, the men did not change because of their partners, but because the punishments or consequences of their actions required change. Whether court-mandated or out of fear of losing custody of their children, these men often only engage in programs when there is no other option.
“What I got from [the documentary] was perhaps one of the most extensive conversations – that I’ve not been privy to – of the male perpetrators,” Verveer said in an interview. The documentary is unique as it mostly dives into the perspectives of the perpetrators inflicting violence rather than the victims experiencing it.
A deep silence filled the auditorium following the film and many people said they were stunned by what they saw on screen. A 10-minute break was given before the conversation session between Khan and Verveer. One audience member, Robert Anderson, a psychology professor at the University of Maryland, was particularly moved by the film.
“Honestly, I think our whole world needs [to see] this: to rethink what it means to be a man, and what it means to be a woman,” he said after the screening. He was eager to report back to his students in his Psychology of Aggression and Antisocial Behavior class what he had learned in the documentary.
The piece is so striking that even Khan finds it difficult to rewatch her piece. Nonetheless, she remains hopeful that there is a way to reduce these endemic levels of violence.
“That’s control. That’s real control: It is not controlling the women or controlling your kids, it’s controlling yourself and controlling your own behavior,” she said, reflecting on some of these men’s abilities to recognize the impact of their violence and try to change.
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